Posted by: kurunner | October 7, 2009

I’m Not 20 Anymore

Last night, we went into downtown Charleston for dinner.  Charleston is full of two types of people, tourists and college students.  The University of Charleston is spread throughout the city and it seemed like the student body was out in full force last night.

Between getting my bachelors and then grad school, I have spent most of my adult life in college.  But I’m not a “college kid” anymore.  Now that I’m approaching my thirties, I realize that I will never be the thin, tan girl walking around town in booty shorts with sorority letters on the butt.  Not that I think it’s a good look on someone who hasn’t had kids and is still cellulite free let alone someone in their forth decade of life, but I wish I still had that option.

I NEVER dressed like that.  In high school, I never thought once about my weight or my size.  I was really comfortable with myself, but my school had a pretty strict dress code excluding short shorts and tank tops.  Although I lived on the water, I rarely swam and don’t remember owning a bathing suit, let alone a bikini.  I’ve always been a jeans and flannel (shut up, grunge was in then) kind of girl.

When I started college, I was a mom who had gained 87 lbs.  I was 21, but I definitely had no desire to walk around campus showcasing the goods.  I lost most of the weight and was at a much healthier 125, but I still felt fat.  Well, not fat.  More like not fit.  I was thin again, but this time I had stretch marks and cellulite.  I was a size 4, but I kept telling myself that after I lost a few inches I would feel better.  THEN, I would wear those shorts.  I even bought a pair of skimpy red shorts that said KANSAS in blue letters, of course with the intent of drawing everyone’s eyes to my butt.  I never took the tag off.  No matter how small I was, I was never comfortable enough to wear them, even around the house.

And I regret that.

There is a very limited time in life that someone can get away with showing that much skin, and your 30s aren’t it.  I feel terrible saying this, but every time I go into Wal-Mart, I see older women dressing like preteens and it makes me want to run off and call Stacy and Clinton.  I’m not quite ready to embrace my age, but I will NEVER go out in public dressed the same as my daughter.  I mean, Pamela Anderson still has a great body, but really, who wants to see every inch of it now?  So even once I have this baby and get back down to my goal weight, I won’t be wearing those shorts I have been saving for almost 10 years.  At least, not in public.  (Skinny jeans are the new booty shorts anyways.)

But if I could, I would go back in time and shake my 21 year old self and make her wear those shorts… at least once.



  1. I really enjoyed this post! I feel the same way about my younger years (I’m older than you-I turned 40 this year). And I wish I could shake your 21 year old self and make you wear those shorts too, even if you just walked around the block with them on!

    It’s a tricky thing…older women wearing teenagers’ clothing. There’s a fine line between looking in style and up-to-date and looking desperate and trashy. You’re right, Stacy and Clinton always know what to do!

    Glad to hear your pregnancy is going well!

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